It’s not unusual for a widow/er to eventually try to get back into the dating world, and one of the easiest ways to do so is to join a dating site.

Suffice it to say, the horror stories about such things are quite common in widowhood support groups.

After my own dating nightmares, as well as behind the scenes administrative work for various dating sites, I have learned a thing or thirty.

And the first thing would be to warn people that things are completely different than they “used to be.”

I have seen countless disillusioned widows post in various…

Okay, so that’s not entirely true. I did sign up for it.

I never did anything with it though, opting to direct my attention to my Patreon page as well as toward the lifelong goal of finally authoring a book.

My lack of interest in being active on Only Fans, came as a shock to a lot of people as I have a fairly extensive background in appearing on websites like Only Fans. I have always been sex positive, and a vocal advocate of sex work, and always will be.

I decided, however, after seeing some of the top sellers…

The morning of February 21st, 2018, I awoke with a panic.

I hadn’t been sleeping well anyway due to reasons that will soon be clear, but this particular day started out with me worrying about the strangest thing:

I had no waterproof mascara.

Just ten days prior, on February 11, I was admitted into a very special, not-exclusive-at-all club. This is a club that most everyone who is in a committed relationship, married or otherwise coupled, will eventually have to join.

I’m talking about The Widowhood Club.

I was only 43 years old on that cold, dreary day when Bret…

This title sounds like it could belong to some extensive period drama, complete with an abundance of tears and a Brontë-esque coldness woven deep within every word.

But that’s not the kind of tale this is.

While I do try to write with that kind of passion, my own version of the widow’s children is actually more of a look into how losing my spouse caused my children to have to step up to duties that are largely foreign to their peers.

My daughter was 10 when my husband, her father, chose to end his life.

She and I have…

The electronic age has certainly done a lot to make communication efforts relatively easy.

Every kind of social networking app or website has a built in messaging system; most cell phones have at least two texting apps built right in; And of course, there is still old school email.

It is crazy easy to get in touch with someone these days, or is it?

In my opinion, it is actually too easy, and much of the time it has become outright aggressive.

Let me explain.

And before I do, please do not take this as a passive aggressive request for…

When someone dies, people are quick to say things like “I’m just glad they aren’t suffering anymore.” It’s a nice thing to think when the sting of loss is felt, and of course we mean it when we say it.

My husband ended his life, which was an incredibly hard pill for everyone we knew, to swallow.

I cannot estimate how hard it was for others to hear and accept, but for me, it seemed impossible. I had no idea how I could exist in a world where my husband committed suicide.

I was angry. I hated him at that…

I’m not talking about when I saw him seconds after it happened and it was pretty obvious that he was no longer with us.

I’m not talking about when the police officer came up to me in the moments after and said “He’s gone.”

I’m not talking about the excruciating walk out of the funeral home, when I knew they would be taking him off to the crematorium shortly thereafter.

I’m not even talking about bringing his ashes home, with his name, and some kind of tacky serial number that was most likely associated with his place in line as…

Ask a widow/er, any widow, if they have heard this or a similar phrase. Chances are, they have.
Chances are even greater that they will continue to hear this phrase.
Chances are, it’s upsetting for them to hear.

Sadly, though, this is one of the things that goes along with loss, so all of us inhabiting this planet at this moment in time, WILL hear this, or maybe even say it, many many times before our own time is up.

You never realize how much it stings though, until it is regarding the death of someone you are very close…