Waterproof Mascara and the Celebration of Life

The morning of February 21st, 2018, I awoke with a panic.

I hadn’t been sleeping well anyway due to reasons that will soon be clear, but this particular day started out with me worrying about the strangest thing:

I had no waterproof mascara.

Just ten days prior, on February 11, I was admitted into a very special, not-exclusive-at-all club. This is a club that most everyone who is in a committed relationship, married or otherwise coupled, will eventually have to join.